You are a busy woman. Hey, I get it! I’m a busy lady too. Hence the title of my blog. Hopefully, if you’re a regular reader of my blog, you’re already taking care of yourself. You’re setting goals, staying active, are (semi) organized and you’re probably kick-ass at doing it. This is awesome but we can’t forget one important thing – we’ve gotta realize when it’s time to ASK FOR HELP. Yup, you can’t do it alone sister. You’ve gotta know when it’s time to reach out and get some support from others.
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When you are tired, struggling, frazzled, or depressed it’s time to ask for help. Even better, learn to ask for help before you get to that snapping point. Integrate asking for help into your total self-care routine.
What do I mean by “ask for help.”
Asking for help can mean different things in different situations. It can be as simple as asking your neighbor to water your plants over the weekend or as in-depth as visiting a therapist once a week.
The point is to change your mindset about “asking for help.” Our society, especially in America, raises us to be strong, independent people. We’re told to “raise ourselves by the bootstraps,” and “go against the flow.” Now don’t get me wrong, having perseverance and being self-sufficient are GREAT qualities. It feels great to accomplish things on our own. Yet sometimes these daily societal messages make us feel like it’s not okay to need some help now and then. These messages instill in us a feeling that somehow we are failures if we need a little assistance.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Struggling alone leads to depression, isolation, sadness, and anger. When we struggle alone we aren’t positively contributing to society. But the world needs you hun, and sometimes you need the world.
Think of it this way, most super successful people don’t do everything alone. They hire secretaries, graphic designers, computer programmers, babysitters, housekeepers, and the list goes on. Sure a lot of them were scrappy at the beginning but the second they got some money they started hiring people to help them. Even at the beginning of their journeys most had someone to help them, whether it was a supportive spouse, a parent, or a teacher.
If you read a lot of blog reports (like I do), you’ll notice a trend. Whenever a blogger starts posting remarkable monthly incomes, take notice of their expenses. Most of them start hiring virtual assistants (VA’s), and other blogging related help the moment they start (or sometimes right before) posting record numbers. This is just an example of showing how no one can get through life alone. Everyone needs help sometimes!
Most People are Happy to Help
Believe me when I say that most people are happy to help you, especially if you are someone they love or care about. Most of the time, people are honored or flattered that you came to them. It shows them that you trust and admire them enough to ask for their advice or support. You don’t have to feel like you are imposing on someone. (Unless you’re asking them to foot your mortgage for a year – that’s not really the “help” I’m talking about here.)
“Help” is also two-way street. Offer to help others and you will see how good it feels. I wrote a post about spreading kindness here. Helping people definitely falls under that “spread kindness and love” umbrella.
You also might surprise yourself and gain more than just a helping hand. You might gain a deeper friendship with the other person. Bonding over tough times is a sure-fire way to kindle a friendship. Some of my best friendships began with “helping.” I’ve developed great friendships with babysitters, gym partners, and academic mentors.
Next Steps
If you’re living in the modern world, chances are you could use a bit more help in your life. It’s time to reach out, ask for help, and take some stress off your plate. The worst that can happen is someone says no. That’s not so bad right? Offer to trade help. If they can watch your kids for a few hours, you’ll weed their garden. If hubby or roommate will clean the kitchen tonight, you’ll make their favorite dish next week.
What do you think? Do you ask for help often enough? Are you embarrassed to ask for help? Share your experience with us in the comments below.
This makes me feel so good. I just recently felt overwhelmed in my classroom, and I felt terrible about asking for help. I feel like I should have figured out the balance at this point, but this blog is reassurance that my cry for help was a step in the right direction. Thanks for the reassurance!
Yes, it’s really hard to ask for help sometimes. Just FYI, I teach history classes at a university. I guarantee you that students who ask their professors for help often get better grades. (Not the ones who show up the day before finals and ask for extra credit when they haven’t done an ounce of work all semester.) If you go to office hours and show the professor that you’re doing the work but still aren’t “getting it” they are more likely to help you. You never know, it could be the difference between a C+ and a B-. Good luck!!!